The Poetics
by BeliBali
Summary: The Fifth Doctor and Peri are having some problems. Does crash landing on Earth help? Will contain romance, violence, death and a little destruction...all you need do is Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Poetics**_

**Chapter 1**

_Tell me not, in mournful numbers,_

_Life is but an empty dream!_

_For the soul is dead that slumbers,_

_And things are not what they seem._

_**Henry Wadsworth Longfellow**_

'Humans' signed the Doctor absently running his hand through his blonde hair as he stared at the monitor before him. It had been three days since his traveling companion, Perigalliam Brown, had spoken to him and when it came to Peri, the silence was deafening. 'Why can't she understand it's wasn't intentional,' he thought as he absently adjusted the console's controls of his time machine known as the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) to zoom in on the young woman as she dove into an Olympic size. Watching her, the Doctor impassively thought of the previous day and Peri's importance in his life.

He had approached Peri at breakfast attempting to make amends for the slight misunderstanding they had three days prior. She had seemed calm and almost pleased to see him as he approached the small table in the TARDIS kitchen. Peri had been eating a large bowl of corn flakes and had actually graced him with a weak smile and a mumbled 'morning.' Pleased at this opening, the Doctor, who had repeatedly rehearsed what he had wanted to say by means of an eloquent apology, he had merely mumbled, 'Sorry I sold you,' and had sleepily plopped into a chair opposite her.

'At least she was calm,' he thought as he recalled the look on her face; poised, mouth open for another spoon of cereal before she dropped it violently in to the bowl and stalked wordlessly from the kitchen. Now it was just a matter of how to approach the subject again. Sighing in defeat, the Doctor turned from the image of Peri swimming and headed into the TARDIS interior to once again try to get into his companion's good graces.

Moving slowly down the corridor mumbling to himself the Doctor stopped periodically rehearsing his wording or considering another phrase or idea. This time he wasn't going to blow it he told himself as he paused outside the swimming pool door. He hesitated, bracing himself. The thought of returning to his refuge of the console room and allowing more time settle between them crossed his mind, but then with sudden determination, drawing a deep breath, the Doctor burst into the room.

'Peri, we must speak. I think we need to discuss this.' Nothing, the room was silent. The Doctor glanced around him in dismay as only the hissing and wheezing of the numerous plants creating the tropical jungle surrounding the Olympic size pool greeted him. There was no one in the room. Turning on his heel in frustration and sudden anger, he stormed from the room resolved to find his companion. 'I will not tip-toe around my own TARDIS!' he announced as he set off down the corridor.

Without knocking the Doctor burst into Peri's room.

'Peri, this has gone on long enough. We…' before he could finish a canister flew through the air, striking him in the forehead. Throwing up his hands to protect himself, a potted plant shattered next to his head spraying him with dirt and sending shards of crockery across the floor. Backing out the door, the Doctor made a hasty retreat into the corridor as a book bounced off the wall inches from his shoulder.

'Out! Get out now!' Peri yelled, her face scrunched in fury as she hurled another book at the his head and slammed the door in his face.

Stunned, the Doctor stood for a moment looking at the closed door not quite understanding what had just happened. Questioning Peri's sanity and the sudden fit of rage, realization slowly began to set in.

'If she was mad before this will certainly put her over the edge.' he thought as he approached the bedroom door. 'Peri' called the Doctor, 'Peri, I'm sorry.'

Silence answered him.

'Peri I didn't know you were dressing. I do apologize.'

Still silence.

'Peri...Peri? We need to talk, please open the door…Peri?'

The door flew open. Standing before him holding an oversized robe close around her, Peri glared furiously. 'Try knocking next time'

'I am very sorry,' blushed the Doctor awkwardly.

'Huh, I bet you are.' Turning her back on him, Peri crossed to her dressing table and sat, acting as if he were not lingering in the doorway attempting to decide whether to enter or not. 'This is just not going the way I planned,' mumbled the Doctor to himself, while trying to calculate if the brush in Peri's hand or if anything else was about to be hurled at him again.

'Planned? Planned! Ha! Nothing goes as you have planned' Peri snarked just loud enough for him to hear. Turning, she glared over her shoulder meeting his eyes with hers, 'that's why the universe is covered in unsuspecting corpses, all of whom trusted you!'

Taken aback the Doctor stepped away, a look of sadness crossing his face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Instead it was immediately replaced with hurt and rage. Glaring at Peri, he too found he was quite furious.

'I said I was sorry! I did not intentionally walk in on you dressing! I did not intentionally sale you! And…I do not intend for half the universe to drop dead every time I appear.'

'But they do don't they Doctor! If the people around you don't get killed, then you just tire of them and throw them by the wayside.'

'I'm sorry some of your friends have died Peri, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the one to save the many!'

'_Sacrifice_?...' Lying down her brush, Peri stood and approached the Doctor. 'Sacrifice? People die when you're around. Is that what is going to happen to me too? Am I going to be a sacrifice to the great cause that is the Doctor?' stepping forward, Peri stopped in front of the him. She was so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body as she stared into his blue-green eyes. 'Is that why you sold me?'

'It was not intentional Peri.' The Doctor's voice became suddenly soft, almost a caress, as he spoke.

'You could have fooled me.'

'I did not mean to sell you to the Octzonians, Peri. Believe me when I say, I would never intentionally hurt you.'

'It doesn't change what you did Doctor.'

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor stood and stared at his companion. He had to fix this, he needed to fix this. 'I have apologized repeatedly! What more do you want?' His voice was no more than a whisper as he searched Peri's face. 'I wasn't going to let them keep you. I bought you back, didn't I?'

'Not before that little orange one put a collar on me and thought I was its new prize pet poodle you didn't' The sharpness in Peri's tone startled him, breaking the unspoken moment between them. Stepping back as if slapped, the Doctor stared at her. The hurt in her eyes was wrenching. Stepping forward, he reached for her hands, but found Peri was already slowly shutting her door, cutting him off from her. Hesitating for only a moment, he sadly turned and trundled down the corridor.


	2. Human, continues

Thank you to the loyal few of you who read and reviewed chapter 1. This is for you...

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Perigilliam Brown, or Peri as she preferred, threw herself upon her bed and burst into tears. She had been traveling with the Doctor for only a short time, but already the TARDIS had grown to be her home. She loved traveling with the Doctor, but up until now, they had never truly been angry with one another. Till now, they had little opportunity to fight; in fact this was the first serious fight. Usually, they were too busy running from this creature or that, or too thankful to discover the other alive to truly have any fierce arguments, but this was different she thought.

Yes, the Doctor did accidentally sell her to the Octzonians and yes, he did immediately, to his horror, realize what he had done and tried to buy her back. At a must-inflated prize she might add, but that was only half the problem. Peri had not appreciated the collar, nor the "little orange one" as she liked to think of it, stroking her head and making a sound very similar to humming. No, she decided. It was less fear of being top prize in the kennel shows and more of a fear the Doctor would have just left her there. That he had, or would, grow tired of her and was going to just leave her on some distant planet. It wasn't as if she really did not miss any of her friends, nor did she miss her mother or her stepfather, Howard. No, Peri realized, her biggest fear was the Doctor would just up and leave her. Just abandon her somewhere, collect a new companion and never think again of Perigilliam Brown.

At first she had just been annoyed with the entire incident. He had apologized after all, but then fear had set in. Her emotions had already been sensitive, as she had not yet recovered from almost being eaten, chanced, burned alive, shot at, and imprisoned from the prior week's activities. It seemed everywhere they went there was someone the Doctor had either angered or were intent on destroying him. It also seemed that wherever they went people where disappearing and dropping dead to the right and left of them.

With a groan Peri sat up and dried her eyes. 'This was just her being emotional,' she told herself, 'too much stress, too many incidents and not enough time to properly recover.'

Peri couldn't help but to laugh a little as she remembered the Doctor's face as he realized what he intended as a polite gesture of hello was misconstrued into him offering Peri up to the highest bidder. She recalled how he had to haggle for her return in apparent desperation, and the relief in his face as the screaming little orange one spied a moving ball of blue foam which suddenly drew its complete attention; allowing the Doctor to quickly buy her back with some odd shaped coins and the stick of celery he wore in his lapel.

With a shock, Peri realized he had been more horrified than she had. Were there notes of desperation in his voice when he was attempting to reclaim her? Sighing, she looked at the mess she had created in her attempt to find an object to hurl at the Doctor's head.

'Why did I say all those horrible things to him' Peri asked as she picked from the floor a teddy bear the Doctor had won her at a carnival. Rotating its head, the bear silently looked at her in its response.

'He didn't completely deserve all of this' she said half to herself and half to the bear. 'I know he tried and I know he does not intend for people to get hurt, it just happens that way.'

Standing she headed towards the corridor to find the Doctor and make amends.

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After looking in all his usual hiding places, Peri found the Doctor sitting next to the pool. Looking at him, she couldn't help but to think how old and sad he looked. It was hard for her to believe sometimes he was almost a thousand years old. He had removed his shoes and socks and was dangling his feet in the water, slowly swirling it about with his toes. He didn't even look up as she approached. He just concentrated on the patterns and ripples his toe was making in the water as she came to stand next to him.

'May I sit down?'

'Are you going to push me in?' He focused more intently upon the water, not wanting to see if she did or not.

He's pouting she suddenly thought as a wave of anger passed through her, but then she regained herself. Besides, he seemed so… so hurt and sad.

'No' Peri whispered as she sat down next to him, pulling her robe closer around herself.

For several moments neither said a word, they just sat in silence listening to the sprinklers

drizzle water over the pool's jungle.

'Doctor' began Peri and then stopped. She hesitated not knowing how she could tell him all she had been feeling. 'Doctor, I'm…' she tried to start again looking for the words, 'I…I…'

'Do you want to leave me Peri?'

Stunned, Peri could only stare at him. She had not expected this. Was he really tired of her? Did this fight mean her time in the TARDIS had ended? Was her nightmare of being abandoned by him about to become true?

The Doctor fixed his gaze on the water.

'You wouldn't be the first you know.' Images of Teagan, Nyssa, Leela, Sarah Jane and Jo flew through his mind. 'I sometime forget how stressful traveling with me can be,' He smiled weakly to himself. 'Especially for humans. I understand if you're ready to go Peri.'

'No,' she had said it before she even knew she had. 'No, I'm just…well…I'm just, tired.'

'Of me.' He had said it so quietly she had almost not even heard him.

Looking at him intently Peri caught his gaze and held him there. How many companions had he had this same conversation with? How many before her had just up and left because they couldn't handle the stress. Had that not been why Teagan had left? Looking into his eyes now, she realized just how old he was and how lonely at times he must be.

'No…yes…' why had she said yes? 'NO' she was flustered and she did not like it. 'I…I.' she drew in a deep breath. 'I am just tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally. The entire incident with the Octzonians frightened me, Doctor. I thought…' she hesitated but then the words just started tumbling out of her mouth. 'I thought you were tired of me, of having to me around or having to rescue me all the time. That you had the opportunity to just get rid of me, and you were going to … to just leave me behind.'

Now it was the Doctor's turn to look shocked. 'I wasn't going to leave you Peri. I bought you back didn't I? I apologized to you, repeatedly. It was an accident which will never be repeated' He took her hand.

'I'm sorry if the Octzonians scared you, but they didn't mean any harm.' He tried to smile 'and I wasn't going to leave you Peri, I wouldn't do that to you.'

Tears welled into Peri's eyes, as she trusts her head into his shoulder. The Doctor held her, wishing he still had on his cricket sweater. She was soaking his shirt. Sniffing she pulled away from him. 'I'm just tired. It's not easy to be shot, burned, chased, almost eaten, blown up, and everything else. They put that collar on me and I didn't know…' again tears began to flow. After a moment Peri regained control and attempted to dry her eyes on the sleeve of her robe.

Smiling in understanding the Doctor collected her back to him. 'I understand Peri, I really do.' He could not help but to wonder if he had been able to have moments like this with other companions would they have left? 'We both just need a holiday. A little quiet time to regroup' held her tighter as he thought of all the times when a companion needed reassuring from him and he was unable to give them even the slightest bit of comfort. What was it Liz Shaw had called him? "Emotionally unavailable?" How many had felt as Peri did now?

'There is much more in the universe you have yet to see. If you want me to show it to you, I will?'

Peri nodded her head and sniffed. This was what she had needed and she wasn't so certain the outburst and all the drama wasn't something the Doctor had needed as well. She felt better than she had in weeks, months even. For the first time since coming aboard she truly felt, safe. No longer, she realized, was she afraid she just a big mistake Turlough happen to drag out of the water. She was here, and she was here to stay.

'Besides' half laughed the Doctor, mischief returning to his eyes 'you did look quite fetching in that collar.'

Peri laughed.

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**Author's note….**

I know I have very few hits or reviews for this story….so it is with trepidation I add more to it. PLEASE, give it a chance! I can provide angst, romance, and a great deal of Doctor related destruction. All you need do is read it. (a review would be nice too)

Next Chapter...tardis crashes


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